First, let me say this… this is all in fun, all with tongue firmly planted in cheek. I’m exaggerating for entertainment. So…
We say it to our buddies all the time. We know it’s not a serious retort, it’s just a way to say “I’ve had enough of this topic” or “I like you, but you’re full of it”. Women know this, so when they tell us to “F-off” they know we won’t take it seriously. It may even lead to a chuckle or, in the right circumstance, outright laughter. Tell your wife to “F-off”, even in the same conversation where she just finished telling you the same, dog house.
“Who would you do?”
She will rattle off movie stars, old high school flames, your best friend… no problem. She’ll say “come on, tell me, who would you do? I promise, I won’t get mad.” DON’T BELIEVE IT! For Star Wars fans… IT’S A TRAP!! Even if she seems to be playing along, you will eventually hit a name that will make her smile spoil. This game’s grand prize is a three night’s, all expenses paid, trip to the couch.
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
She’ll look you up and down, analyzing, grading, giving you a fashion score and then, “is that what you’re wearing?” What? My pants aren’t on backwards. My shirt’s tucked in. Even my socks match (which is a total fluke by the way). What’s wrong! You, on the other hand, can’t say crap about what she’s wearing. And why would you. She’s beautiful. You always think she’s beautiful. You’re not even safe if she asks you to be honest. If you’re still stupid enough to try and hint what she’s put on doesn’t match, Holiday Inn has a special “I told my wife what I thought about her clothes so how much of an idiot am I” room rate. (Not really, but they should)
I had 2 more but I’ve run out of places to sleep.